“I’m learning to fly, but I ain’t got wings, coming down, is the hardest thing. I’m learning to fly around the clouds, what goes up, must come down.” —Tom Petty
Episode 13 is up.
We jumped—and it has turned out to be one of the bigger jumps of my life. I would put this jump right up there with becoming a parent and losing my sister to cancer. I’ve always been one who is up for the ride, however this time I’ve really had to buckle-up.
I have moved a lot in my life, and I’ve changed jobs before, but for some reason moving with my husband and son has completely put a different kind of spin on everything—a spin that has not stopped, where I still feel like I am hovering above our new life. I look down and see all the pieces and players moving around, but I am a bit disconnected from it all.
We knew this opportunity called us as a family, as if there was and is something we need to learn here, or grow here, and some reason to be here now.
Throughout this entire experience, I am putting everything to test that I have learned so far in my life. For instance, instead of running away from uncomfortable feelings and situations, I’ve attempted to feel them, witness them, and then move on as much as possible. This is a new thing for me.
Starting a new job, moving across country, my son starting preschool—all within about a three week period—just about broke me. But, because I had experienced uncomfortableness, unbelievable sadness, and unexpected circumstances before, I knew somewhere within me, that I would—that we would—survive.
It’s funny. It’s so extremely hard to go through all the hard stuff, but when we come out on the other side, we definitely are stronger (as cliche as that sounds) and hopefully we know how to deal with the remaining part of our life a little bit better.
Even though those hard experiences suck while going through them (like the death of my sister), when life presents something else hard (like moving out of state for a job), in my gut I know I can do it.
I’ve learned a lot about myself moving for this job. I’ve learned that I might as well walk through difficult and uncomfortable situations with a good perspective, a good attitude, and with hope because one moment is going to turn into the next, and there is a good chance life is going to go on.
And it's my personal choice to walk through life however I want—happy, sad, empowered, broken-down, inspired, hopeful, courageous, and so on. It’s pretty simple when you think about it.
However, for me, the most difficult part about it all is being conscious enough to recognize when I’m letting life happen to me, when I’ve checked out, and when I am caught up in the constant spin of worry and fear in my own mind.
It is one of the most amazing things when I catch myself there, wake myself up and take myself out. This for me is one of the best parts of my day.
Enjoy Episode 13—JUMP!